In the blink of an eye...

Things can change so quickly sometimes. One day you are perfectly content with the direction your life is headed, and then you catch a glimpse of something you though you understood, and then BAM...your life takes a sudden turn.

Decisions...changes...moving forward...

Seems to be a constant variable in my life...especially over the last few years. You'd think I would be used to it by now, but change is always uncomfortable no matter how often it happens to you.

Paul and I have been involved at Wrecked Ministries since September 2010, only 1 short month after we left Faith Church. We lost a lot of friends in that transition, but God is always faithful and helped us through it by bringing a different group of friends into our life. We found genuine friendships and family during a time of such change and transition for both of us. During our involvement at Wrecked, we searched for our new church home month after month, until a year had passed. We would stay for a few months at one then question if it was really where we were supposed to be. From September 2010 to September 2011, we had tried 3 different churches. So we always felt in transition as far as that area of our life was concerned, but we never lost sight of who we were in Christ or who Christ was to us. We pursued God intensely in the midst of limbo. I found my place as a prophetic worship leader and re-discovered my gift as a songwriter. I read through the entire Bible and fasted and prayed more than I ever had in my whole life. I had a new-found boldness at work to pray with co-workers and patients and even ministered to some homeless people here in South County. We were greatly impacting families when we traveled as a ministry and when people would come to our gatherings in Arnold at our building.

Even though we had a difficult time finding our church home, we never felt like we were totally lacking in our walk with God. Actually, it felt stronger than ever before!

But in August 2011, something shifted in the ministry. We felt burnt out and upset that no one had been coming for 3 or 4 months. We weren't traveling as much anymore and ultimately, we were just ministering to ourselves. After a team meeting, it seemed as if everyone was throwing in the towel. The foundation was crumbling, but after a weekend at The Ramp it seemed as if we were able to pull ourselves together. We came back refreshed. It looked like we got a second wind! We were faithfully there at every gathering even though only a few people were showing up. We were just keeping our eyes fixed on the Lord. But then some people from the team stopped coming regularly and then left the ministry altogether. Discouragement started to kick in, then judgement, then accusation, then a little bit of self-righteousness. We ignored the fact that there wasn't much love anymore. So month after month went by and we began to ultimately go through the motions. To get over the fact that no one was coming anymore, we focused on prayer. We were going to become a prayer culture. Sounds awesome, but in reality, we became a holy huddle not reaching out to the lost. Paul and I had been feeling uncomfortable about everything for a few months but couldn't find it in us to leave just yet. We had invested so much time and energy in this place! And on top of that, we had no church home at all. We felt trapped with very little hope of ever finding a place to raise our kids. Was this it? Were we even affecting the Kingdom for God? Were we even growing spiritually anymore? We were involved in a ministry that wasn't ministering to anyone. It just felt like we kept going around the same mountain with little progress.

But a month ago, things began to brighten up. We started attending a church in Arnold that a few friends went to. And after the first service, we knew this was it. We had found our church home! FINALLY! We were just so excited to be getting fed regularly and meeting new people. And this church has an amazing outreach ministry. They better because they are called CHURCH IN ACTION!

But what about Wrecked? It was starting to feel like an obligation to go at this point. Over the last few months, Paul and I have tried to stick it out, but this past week we decided to step down. It has been a long week.

I am just so glad that God is faithful to the end. Man's love will always disappoint, but God's love remains. It never fails. I am taking one step at a time with this new season, but I am excited to see what God is getting ready to do through us. Sometimes making a move in a new direction can scare the crap out of you, but if you just keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, He will help you walk out into the unknown.

Lord, help me walk out on the water with You. I want to be where You are. I want to be where You need me. Thank you for Your mercy and grace. Thank You for Your amazing love. I couldn't get through all of this change without You God.

"And I'm fixing my eyes on the One who's unchanging, cuz the One who's unchanging is forever changing me." ~Amber Brooks

Emily Update.

So, I've been blogging a little more recently and I'm starting to enjoy it again. 2011 was not the year for blogging for me, but I definitely became a more faithful journal writer. God definitely stretched me and molded me this past year and I am grateful to have that entire year documented in a notebook. :)

But I have decided to keep the ol' blog alive. In addition to By God's Grace, I have also picked up another writing endeavor at We are the Burning Ones... where I bring up topics regarding the Bible, sound teachings, and ministry life. I try to not to dive into too many personal things there, but I know that it is hard for me to separate my faith and beliefs anywhere I write or go for that matter.

Any hoo, after almost a month of the Daniel Fast (Jentzen Franklin's 21 day fast to get your edge back)...

My food intake for almost a month...

I have been working out pretty consistently for 2 weeks now. I lost about 10 lbs but I also lost a lot of muscle because of the lack of protein...doh! I have been running on a tread-mill, stretching, toning my arms with free-weights, and working on my abs with pilates. I feel great! I am excited to see the results in about a month. I think the best thing you can do to get consistent with working out is finding a schedule that works for you and stick with it. If you set time aside to do it, it will be easier to stay motivated since you have an allotted time slot for it.

Same goes for your prayer life also. If you set aside time where you know you won't be disturbed and you can get alone with the Lord, you will be eager to keep building that relationship with Him. You will notice a difference in your attitude and the way you treat people when you spend time with God. I notice such a peace and a joy when I spend time in the Lord's presence, whether talking to Him or just sitting in the quiet, candles lit, and waiting on Him. There is no other word to describe it then peaceful. And in the world that we live in today, we could use some of that kind of peace. The Bible calls it a "peace that passes all understanding" (Philippians 4:7).

So between those 2 things, I have been keeping myself pretty busy. Paulie has 2 jobs (he's my workin man) and about 3-4 days out of the week, we don't see each other up until he slips into bed with me. Sometimes I am awake enough to chat with him, other times I am just able to kiss

him goodnight when he comes home, and some times I am just conked out snoozing away. It has been hard, but nothing that we can't handle. We appreciate every moment that we can get and don't take any of it for grant it. Because of that, our marriage is so alive and strong.

Monday-Wednesday this week was the stretch of time where we only saw each other before bed, so tonight is special for us. He gets off at 5 and I couldn't be more excited! :) After I work out, I am gonna shower, and curl my hair for him and make him dinner. I love taking care of Paulie. He works so hard for us. I'm not too big on Valentine's Day because it makes it seem like that is the only day a couple should shower each other with love. I try to treat my husband like that all the time.

Me and my hubs a few weeks ago on one of our "off night, date nights" :)

Show love. Give love. Live love. Always.

Peace&Love.

Em

Love Never Fails

Choose love over criticism.
Choose love over judgement.
You once wandered in darkness,
So show compassion to those who have gone astray.
They need love to help light their path.
Love them back to restoration.
Help them with their love walk.
Help them walk in the light where I am found.
Fill yourself up with the Word.
The Word lights your path.
The Word is founded in Love.

If we are full of Love
nothing else can have room in our hearts.
Deception, sin, unbelief, hate, pride...
It cannot stay because there is no room for it.
Love conquers all of it.
Love never fails.

Time to spare...

Welp, today I find myself able to spend a little extra time blogging for a bit.

It's good to set time aside to just reflect. Not much of a blogger anymore, but from time to time I don't mind letting the world (whoever happens to read this anyway...) read my thoughts. Most of my writing goes into a hand-written journal or in my notebook of lyrics.

Speaking of my notebook of lyrics, I have been consistently writing songs for several months now. My songwriting has increased quite a lot since January though. When I was younger, I used to write short stories and poetry. In high school, the poetry continued as young love blossomed and eventually I began to put melodies to my words. I always seemed to pen my thoughts and emotions in a journal but it wasn't until a year or so ago that I stepped back into creative writing. I enjoy it so much!

My songs are inspired by scripture and just flow out from my intimate prayer times with the Lord. I sing to Him and write songs to Him and about Him. It is really cool when I get the opportunity to sing them with the band at Wrecked. I only do it for God's glory and if He opens the door to recording an album someday, that would just be a bonus. I never want to make something happen,I only want to walk in what He has called me to and in His timing.

I just want to live my life to please the Lord. Honestly, it is all about trusting God.

Here are few lyrics that I wrote earlier this week regarding that thought:

"Lord, please take control

Let Your will be done.

I can't do this on my own.

Please carry me...carry me."

"Jesus Your word is true

I put my trust in You

You hold my life in Your hands..."

May be this is what my blog can be about from now on...just songs that God drops down in my heart to share. I hope some of it blesses you.

Peace&Love.

Em

I'm back!

So it's almost 3AM and I couldn't sleep. I remember when I was in college and this would happen to me, I would just open up my laptop and begin to write. Just stream of consciousness type of writing. After awhile, my eyes would get heavy and I would be able to doze off fairly quickly.

And tonight, or this morning (however you wanna look at it), I realized how much I missed my old blog.

I have missed out on an entire year of blogging, my friends. That kind of makes me a little sad. But there is no better time to start back up then now! I have been keeping a written journal continuously, so not all is lost in the memory upkeep!

So...what's up with me these days, you might ask?

Well, I'm still very much enjoying married life. It will be 2 years here shortly....December 5th to be exact. I can't believe that much time has passed! I'm truly looking forward to a lovely dinner with my hubs next weekend. Frankly, I haven't seen much of him now that the holiday season is here. He is a salesman at Sears so retail hours can be kinda rough on this 9-5, M-F chick. Not to mention he has picked up a part-time job (2-10:30pm shift) to help knock out some of our debt. We definitely have to make the most of the time we have together. Helps us not take each other for granted.

I pay closer attention to the time we have. When you don't get much, you try to soak it all in. Car rides to Wal-mart or QT start to become more precious than you'd think. And as you can tell, we try not to take life too seriously. :)

Work Life:

The office made a move in July to a new location. Newer, cleaner, and more day-light!

The view from my desk... I no longer feel like I'm working in a basement! :)

I've been with NPS for 2 years and 8 months so far and I'm still believing for something else. I refuse to complain because I know I am blessed to even HAVE a job and a decent source of income. I would just like something a little less stressful and a little more enjoyable. I know God has me there for a purpose (and for a season) and I'm constantly trying to live with purpose when I'm there. When it comes down to it, people just need a little kindness and warmth in there lives and I try my best every day to show it to anyone who crosses my path.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,"

~Colossians 3:23

It all comes down to His timing and I will trust Him completely. I know if I wanted to, I could take matters into my own hands and find a new job. But would it be God's plan for me? I don't want to go my own way then ask God to bless it. I'd rather have God reveal His plans for me and they'd already be blessed! This doesn't give me a license to be lazy though. I keep my eyes open for opportunities and a couple doors have opened, but they didn't work out. Not to say God wasn't in it, it just may not have been in His timing.

Ministry Life:

I'm still leading worship at Wrecked Ministries. We have renewed our lease at the building another year. God is continuing to stretch all of us as we keep our eyes focused on Jesus and not on growing a ministry. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God... Our worship services are still VERY intimate, but we are so blessed to be able to worship without limitations. We never pay attention to the clock and we don't care how you worship: lying down, kneeling, standing, sitting. We just ask that you surrender your heart fully to Jesus and pour out your best to Him. We've had our ups and downs in the leadership, but God has remained faithful. We believe if we can be found faithful over the little, He will make us rulers over much. So we honestly don't pay much attention to numbers anymore. We just want to raise up a prayer culture and a group of burning ones who long to worship the King in Spirit and in Truth.

Paul and I have tried out several churches over the last year, but we haven't found our "home" yet. When you're involved in a ministry, it hardly seems like you are missing out on too much because you aren't "forsaking the assembling together of yourselves." But there is something about attending church on a Sunday morning that nothing else can really replace. Again, we know in God's timing, He will reveal to us where He needs us to go. Until then, we are meeting regularly at Wrecked for worship, prayer, and Bible study.

Any way, the eyes are starting to get heavy just like I expected. :)

It's good to be back! Hopefully the next time I write it won't be an entire year later...

Peace&Love.

end of the anti-social networking era...sort of.

this hat makes me hate the snow a little less...lol So this weekend I realized how out of the loop I was when it came to my friends' lives. So I joined Twitter again. Still pretty anti-Facebook and probably will be for awhile. Again, I have my reasons.

But because I deleted my account, I had to start from scratch so no one realized they weren't following me anymore. So if you have Twitter, follow me @emilyrosemassey! Thanks! Lol

I figured I would use it more to speak positive things and tell others of God's mighty hand in my life and tell others of what Wrecked Ministries is up to. I'm starting to take my position as a worship leader a lot more serious as I begin to meet more influential people in the Kingdom. This past Friday was an amazing encounter with God as my 13 year old Catholic cousin felt God's tangible presence for the first time! God showed up as always and set the place on fire! Also, we had a guest speaker who tours with Eddie James Ministries and he had many encouraging words for the ministry and me personally. It feels great to know I am smack dab in the middle of God's will for my life. Music IS my ministry and God confirmed that this weekend.

And as always, it is so hard to keep working my 9 to 5 when all I want to do is minister to people through music and worship. I'm sure many creative people feel like that a lot when it comes to their true passion vs making money to support yourself and your family. Oh well...

I am hoping to put some time aside to write some songs with some musician friends. The downside for me is that I hear the songs in my head and I can write the lyrics with melody but I don't play an instrument so it can only be produced as an acapella song. Pretty sure I was supposed to learn guitar or piano when I was younger but never attempted.

Any hoo, back to the life as a insurance verification specialist! Yee-haw!

Peace&love

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Friday daze

Got a chance to sleep in a little bit this morning (bc my boss rocks) and find myself wanting to cuddle up next to the heater and take a nap already.

Not feeling up to working full force today. Haven't been for the last few days actually. Kinda funny cuz I almost drove to the Wrecked building this morning instead of work so that shows you where my heart lies right now. I want to immerse myself in worship sets and write music all day long. But alas, God has placed me here in this season to verify insurance benefits and schedule appointments. Lol. Such a calling! Sorry for being fecisious. Health insurance just isn't the most exciting to work with.

I'm just having one of those days where I almost get sick thinking of this season lasting another 4 years (at least our plan for now) until I get to be a stay at home mom (my true calling). But must remain patient and in faith that God has it all under control. My sour attitude today probably has something to do with denying myself natural pleasures for almost 2 weeks now. How I crave chocolate! Oh well...it's good for me.

At least more puzzle pieces are coming together for Paul's true calling. He has always wanted to be a cop and now that he is 21 he can finally go through the Academy. The next class doesn't start until January so God is moving some stuff around to make it all possible for him to go to school and graduate from the Academy...big steps for a homeschooler who has never attended public school! I will help him though. Who knew I would get to enjoy the stresses of college all over again! Haha. But it is cuz I love my hubs that we will do it together.

Keep ya posted on this transition....

Peace&love.

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